"I searched Google for what??"

Hey new parents! You know what's amusing? Pour yourself a glass of wine some evening after your baby has passed out for the night and review your desperate Google searches for the past few months. It'll be fun, I swear! Here are some of our more interesting searches from the last few months:

Cori

My name is Cori and I'm a Googleholic.  In order to be absolved of my sins, I'm going to confess.  These are some of my searches.

"36 week preterm baby"
Google image search so I knew what I was in for when I found out I was delivering at 35w4d

"cesarean pain management breastfeeding"
I opted for all the pain meds.

"hot breasts"
In the most literal sense possible.

"baby instructions" 
Found 'em.

"vbac docs Los Angeles"
This one was googled within the first week of being home with Everett.  I'm either a great planner or a big hater of c-sections.  Both.

"zinc oxide poisoning dogs" 
Henry ate an entire tube of butt paste.  Poison control said it's not lethal for a dog that size, but he was very sick.

"what to do with a 3 week old"
I had a hard time wrapping my head around how to entertain a baby for so many hours.  The answer is, you don't.

"baby poop stain remover"
Best option - the sun!

"baby ingrown toenail treament"
My first major fuckup as a mom - clipping his toenails too short thereby facilitating an ingrown toenail.  Go mom!

"Breastfeeding hungover"
While I would never breastfeed intoxicated, Google gave me the green light to go ahead and do so after an evening of overindulgence (thankfully only a mild headache).  

"baby whiteheads permanent?"
 They're not.  It took everything in my being to not pop them.

"8 week old eats constantly" 
 Normal.

"7 week old sleeps all the time"
Normal.

"baby fedora"
Lord have mercy on my soul.

Natty

"breastfeeding while sick"
"antibiotics while breastfeeding"
"how long will it take for my supply to come back after being sick"

I got really sick when Georgia was about 8 weeks old. I stayed in bed and just nursed her while watching a lot of television and panicking quietly that it would put an end to breastfeeding for us. Thankfully, I was on the mend after three days in bed. Even though I hardly ate a thing, my body kept up and my supply was back to normal within about three days.

"hulu plus is awful"

Sometimes I just use Google to complain.

"moms who work part time happiest"

I'd seen a study on this years ago and needed to reassure myself at the end of a day where I wanted to resign all my positions with no plan for the future.

"you got a ham"

Your guess is as good as mine.

"is my baby playing on her back too often"

No.


"my baby is content in her crib. am i neglecting her"

Gawd, no.



"baby sproles jersey"

Because this is what we should be spending money on.

"child deduction 2012"


Finally, something sensible.