How to "Make" a Security Blanket

Lovies, Soothers, Minkies, Blankies... whatever they're called, they're wonderful.

I had a blankie growing up and when I was little, my mother was in a skiing accident that had her in and out of the hospital for about a year. I remember holding my blankie close and missing her terribly as I fell asleep.

Georgia's never taken to a pacifier or sucked her thumb, but she's been able to self-soothe for a long time because she has her "minky", a fleecey little security blanket with a monkey's head in the middle. That's a rather stark description but you can see in the picture above, it's very sweet.

Choose wisely. You want to pick something safe, small, and stylish.

• Safe. Button eyes are precious and a bear wearing rainboots is adorable but choking is not cute. I inspect Georgia's lovey daily, especially where the little bow is sewn to the top of monkey's head.
• Small. My neice somehow bonded with a huge, heavy lambskin rug and she would dutifully draaaaag that thing around with her. My own blankie was the size of a beach towel and it was often filthy from being dragged along the ground. Georgia's is small enough to be tucked into a purse of pocket.
• Stylish. If your child really bonds with this item, it's going to show up in a lot of pictures. I've known a couple of kids who bonded with mom's pillow case and toted them around for years. No pillow case is going to live through that with its dignity intact and when you look back on pictures, you probably don't want to reminisce too much about a piece of filthy laundry that often smelled like pee (FACT: Your child's blankie will often smell like pee if it travels with them into toddlerhood.)

It's a major bonus if you select something that you can buy duplicates of. Georgia's minky was a gift, so when she took to it in a powerful way, I spent days tracking down duplicates on Amazon. We keep the spare in a special box and swap it out when it needs a bath.

Get Your Scent All Up On It. I asked my mom how she got her kids to bond with the item she'd pick and she reached over and stuffed that minky in my top. Point taken, mom. For about a week when I was home, I wore her minky in my top, next to my fun bags. When I fed her, I would put the minky next to her face as she nursed. It only took a few days of this to get Georgia hooked.

Use Its Power Wisely. I really only try let Georgia have her minky when it's nap time or bed time. It's been a good signal for her when she is in her car seat. I only put it in with her if it's nap time while she is in the car. Otherwise, I give her a toy that is more stimulating. I'll also give her her minky when we are in chuch during her normal night time. It's a subtle signal to her that it's time to pass out, even when she is nowhere near her crib.

As she gets older, I hope it will be a friend to her at bedtime and when special soothing is needed, but not a constant companion. I don't want to see it lost or damaged but I also don't want it to become too regular, either become essential to living or too ordinary to be special.

A Sanity-Saving Newborn Nighttime Routine

Not a creature was stirring...

There is often not much more precious to new moms and dads in the early days of parenthood (and beyond) than a little bit of uninterrupted sleep.  Sadly for me (and even more so, Bran), I am complete psycho hose beast when I don't get enough of it.  Necessity is the mother of invention and I quickly learned that simply being a mom did not mean that I could subsist on naps and good intentions.  It grew painfully clear that I needed to figure out some sort of routine so I could string together several solid hours of sleep in order to remain human.  Through some trial and error, we found a routine that worked for my kid AND my family, both in his newborn stage and a little later on.  It does require a little work upfront and a partner to lend a hand.  However, if you're anything like me, you are willing to go to great lengths in order to get a good, solid chunk of shut eye.

I would recommend waiting until after the first month to implement this strategy if you are breastfeeding so your supply is a little more established before you skip a feeding like I am suggesting below, but it's totally up to you.  This plan will not work for everyone, but it's worth considering and/or modifying to fit your needs and child, even if you only do it a couple times a week so you can recharge.

Months 2-3

Step 1:  PUMP - This is where you're paying your dues.  This bottle of liquid gold will be used later in the evening, either that night or later depending on your storage method.  I have found that pumping after the first nursing session in the morning works well because that's when most women are the fullest and have the most extra milk.  This pumping session is also good for supply - the more you pump, the more you'll make.  I know it's annoying to pump, trust me I do.  But is the sacrifice worth it for the payoff at night?  That is the question.  You will skip this step if you are formula feeding, obviously!  And if you want, you can skip this step altogether if your supply is abundant and established and you want to just go with a bottle of formula later in the evening.

Step 2:  Go to Bed -  As soon as your baby is done eating his last meal of the evening, you must Go to bed.  Go directly to bed.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200.  It is a big bummer to miss your favorite show or lose out on evening time with your partner, but sleep, at least in my world, makes everything so much better.  Keep this phrase on repeat:  This phase does not last forever.

Step 3:  Dream while your SO takes the first night-  Now that you have an extra bottle in the fridge, and you're in dreamland (possibly dreaming that you're going to sleep through the night), your partner should be manning the baby monitor.  He will likely have 2-3 hours until the baby wakes for the bottle, so then you'll have another 2-3 until baby wakes again.  Another advantage to feeding baby with an expressed bottle at this last feeding of consciousness in the home is that you KNOW baby is getting a good amount of milk to hopefully allow for a few more minutes of zzz's.  Then, after these 4-6 hours (*crosses fingers*), you will be able to take the middle of the night feeding(s) while your partner, who already has paid his dues, rests peacefully.

This is a sample schedule of how things went down (when they went well) during months 2-3 when we implemented this plan.

8-9pm - Everett eats and crashes, as do I

12pm - Everett stirs and needs to eat, DH feeds him while I continue to sleep

3am - Everett wakes up to eat, but I am refreshed after 6-7 hours of solid sleep and DH now reaps his sleep reward

6am- Wakes to eat again, mom or dad on duty

8am- up for the day

If your little angel cooperates, this means that both partners get 5-7 hours of solid sleep with an extra couple hours on each end if you so choose, possibly with 1 or 2 wake ups.  To me, that is A-OK.  Pretty great, actually.

Months 4+
As your baby gets older, he will likely be able to sleep for longer and longer stretches of time.  Some babies don't need any help at this point sleeping through the night.  Most babes do, though, so if your kiddo is not there yet, this method will hopefully give you some reprieve.  The main difference here is that you are doing a dream feed.  We fill Everett up with the dream feed so that when both DH and I sail off into dreamland, Everett's tank is full and he will not wake up due to hunger.  This also will allow you to relish in a little adult time in the evenings.  This is what a sample of what our current schedule looks like.

8pm - Everett crashes (last feed at 7:30)

8-10pm - Bran and I get a little alone time, eat dinner, have a glass of wine, watch TV, chat, etc...

10pm - I go to bed.

11:30pm - Dream feed by DH, then he'll go to bed.

6am - Everett wakes to nurse, I get up and pump, walk the dog, start my day.

7:30-8am - DH and Everett wake up.

It works for us, but you may need to tweak it to work for you.  And maybe it won't work at all.   If I learned one thing about babies by having one, it's that no two are the same and there is no one size fits all method for anything that works for every kid. This works for mine and I hope if you are not one of the lucky ones with a kid who can sleep through the night, this will work for you, too!